CultMaster 2000®: The power of modern technology joins the ancient battle against cults!
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Have you ever felt like you were the only authentic Christian left? Now you can prove it, with the new CultMaster 2000® CD-Rom package. CultMaster 2000® is produced by Kingdom of the Kults, Inc., a business founded by experienced professional cult-fighters who now make their skills available to you. For just $99.99, the CultMaster 2000® will let you prove that anyone who doesn't see things your way is any of the following:
* non-Christian
* a member of a cult
* a heretic
* a Satan worshipper
* plotting to take over the world
* brainwashed
* fanatic
* overweight
* a Republican
* a member of the vast right-wing conspiracy
* an Amway dealer
The patented CultMaster software includes two major modules. First, there is the Cult Exposer® module, which contains explosive documentation on the doctrinal absurdities and historical scandals behind over 3,000 religious denominations, including every major Christian denomination in the United States except yours (all negative information about your denomination of choice is deleted during the initial installation of the software). For example, if your denomination is Methodist, you can access Cult Exposer® to print out detailed briefs showing why Lutherans, Catholics, and Presbyterians are pitiful, deluded followers of a lie, adhering to doctrines that clearly make them non-Christian cultists. Cult Exposer® is customizable, allowing you to classify others as falling into any or all of the categories listed above (non-Christian, cult member, brainwashed, etc.). You make the allegations, we provide the evidence, drawing upon a vast library of Biblical commentary, anti-religious writings, historical information, and scandalous quotes from past leaders and members of the accused organization. Catholics, watch your Lutheran friends tremble as they learn that Martin Luther advocated bigamy for Henry VIII (clearly making him a non-Christian!). Lutherans, stun your Catholic neighbors with the solid Biblical evidence that only Lutherans are Christian. And Mormons will be pleased to learn that they are the only ones who are NOT members of a cult! Cultmaster 2000® is so powerful that it can make a non-Christian pagan out of anybody.
